Rubys serve up love and kindness on Valentine's Day

From Emily Ruby

Like most things, ideas overwhelmed the intent. I started running scenarios about how to do the most good with that 250 dollars. How many people could we do something nice for? What is the threshold for it being meaningful? How much per person? Quality vs. Quantity?

It was valentine's day and the kids had a half day. We were crowded into a booth at Louie's grill. I had big plans buckets of flowers handed out to strangers, or maybe a shelter, or maybe the retirement home? I was totally distracted.  Everything was taking  longer than normal. The kids were getting restless. You could hear the waitress talking patiently with the table of two older ladies behind us.

"Now you know I don't like cheese on my omelet"

"I know Mary, I have you covered. I know what you like."

"No onions either, sometimes they try to slip them in"

"I"ll watch them, like a hawk I promise"

Our waitress came to our table with a big smile.  The kids were cranky, she slipped them special valentines fruit loops, charmed them and joked with them. Took our order and had it back to us before the kids could get any more desperate.  We tore through the special heart shaped pancakes, and watched her check in with seemingly every table in the place.  Mary from the booth next to us came over to chat. She was hilarious telling the kids about her grandson who was their age. Owen asked her to be his valentine. She blushed saying no one had asked her to be their valentine since her husband died 10 years ago.  He pulled out a valentine he made at school from his backpack and gave it to her. She hugged him and headed back to her table. Mary got the check and I heard her counting out change on the table with her friend. They slid change across the table splitting it exactly down the middle.

All that fretting, worrying about the best use for the kindness money. I missed the point, there is always need around everywhere. To spend too much time choosing between them, defeats the purpose. It's like hoarding joy to get the biggest rush.  I walked up to the cashier, paid for our meal and Mary and her friends and gave our waitress a $200 tip. Left before they knew about it.  It was fun to put a little random back into the random act of kindness. 

Spreading the Love on MLK Jr. Day

Lundak Family Kind Deed

January 20, 2014
MLK Jr. Day

We were honored (and intimidated) to do the first ever BCE Kindness Club deed. Here's what we did and what we learned from the experience. 

What we did…

We wanted to do something connected to MLK day where we could give a dose of happiness to people who are in need of a little love or appreciation. As MLK preached, the way to end hate is with love. 

So, we considered how to spread the love. We thought about doing something nice for police or firemen, nursing homes and hospitals. Ultimately we chose a nursing home – as they often have residents without much outside interaction and caregivers who are unsung heroes.  

For our deed we made 20 flower arrangements, bought 30 big cookies and $50 dollars of Starbucks gift cards ($5 each). The boys made cards to go in each arrangement and we attached tags that said:

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”
Philo of Alexandria
With love from bcekind@gmail.com 

We delivered the goods on MLK day. We had alerted the activity director at Mayfield Care Center that morning that we were coming, but we didn’t give details. When we arrived, the caregivers were surprised and full of smiles to see the flowers and cookies. They made an announcement through the building PA system of our gift and were visibly touched. It was humbling for us…since we weren't doing it for any recognition. But they wanted to show their appreciation, so we blushed while they continued to thank us. 

They decided to put all the flowers on tables in the dining hall where we saw the residents eating lunch. The cookies and coffee were for the caregivers who ironically were having a trivia contest later that day and could use the items as prizes. There were lots of hugs and applause for the gesture. Afterwards, the activity director called our friend who recommended Mayfield to tell her how much she loved what we'd done for them. 

Who we did it for…

Mayfield Care Center – 5905 Washington, Chicago

Located in the Austin neighborhood it is a 5 star rated CMS facility and was recommended by a friend who works for the West Side and Austin newspapers.

How we felt…

It’s a humbling experience to do something nice for someone – especially people you do not know. It was such a small thing, but the appreciation was so great.

As Lincoln said as we left “I feel so happy” – complete with a little booty shake.

The BCE Random Acts of Kindness Club 2014

Here's how it works...

The club is a monthly commitment with 13 members (one member = a household) in year one. 

Every month club members put in $20 which goes into a pot and the host kicks in an extra $10. (For you liberal arts majors, if there are 12 families that's $250 to use for the month). 

One family then hosts the club each month. This means they get to identify an act of kindness to complete using all the money in the pot. It can be something as random as buying someone's groceries in line at the Jewel or something more formal like working with a local charity to identify a family who needs some extra help. 

There are no stipulations except that you need to use the money for good and be prepared to share your act with the rest of the club. The host then shares the deed by holding a small get together where we all get to hear about the act (and maybe have a few beers or coffee - you choose). We will plan to meet every 2 months to share our goodness. 

The outcome serves a few purposes...

1.  It is another way to build community with the BCE.

2. It allows us all - as families- to spend a small amount of time on a regular basis to pay attention and help others around us.  And since we are all pretty darn fortunate, it's a small thing that may mean a big difference for our kids as well as ourselves. 

3. It may just spark others to do good and spread kindness in ways we may never see. 

We’ve also set up an email address in case you want to include a way to contact the group as part of your kind deed. It is bcekind@gmail.com

Let’s all crush 2014 with kindness!